And in this Corner.. F.E.A.R

And in This Corner … F.E.A.R.

  Determination, Inspirations and Transformation are within us!  The challenges we face is we allow to be buried under all the negative excuses. All the excuses and beliefs we have fabricate over the years. It is hard to find strength within ourselves when we feel so emotionally thrashed. We create these limitations for ourselves, and to top it off, we create the fear that keeps us from excelling past them.

Fear has its place in our lives.  It is an instinct meant to keep us safe. It is the basis for fight or flight reactions. Then there is the fear we create to keep our emotions and egos safe. This is F.E.A.R (Forget Everything And Run). It is the fear that is created within us, which makes us afraid to love, afraid of failure, afraid of success, afraid of being rejected, and, afraid of just being ourselves. 

When we create these fearful emotions most likely we are basing the fear on past events. opinions or something fabricated in our head. These are the fears that keep us “emotionally safe” – safe from getting hurt again. Remember, our feelings are based on either pain or pleasure. If we know something is going to cause us physical or emotional pain, then we are going to avoid it at all cost.

            There are so many people who would like to change their lives but feel stuck. The fear of deciding to change stops them in their tracks. So, they stay where they feel safe even when they know they are not happy.

We would rather cling onto what is familiar and safe than chance a fear becoming real.  We tend to clench up, fold our arms, back away, give an excuse, or alternatively we create a “real” reason as to why we have to run from the unknown.

Fear can take over our lives. It can keep us from having the relationship of our dreams just because we are afraid that “all” of our relationships will end in a breakup or a divorce.

Fear can create a nervous disorder, phobias and even paranoia. I know a family that experienced one of the small earthquakes in California. To this day they sleep by the door on the floor instead of upstairs in their bedrooms.

Fear can become debilitating. It can also cause loss of opportunities and create regret.  When fear becomes the stronger emotion, we must stop and ask ourselves, “Is there a real danger?” Why are we Fearful (Full of Fear)?  What experiences from our past or in our present lives have caused us to feel this way?

            I gave a goal setting seminar to a company in San Diego. After two days of my workshop, I had a gentleman approach me with his story about fear. He shared with me that during the companies weekly meeting he would have suggestions to improve the sales of their company’s product. However, he was too fearful to speak up with his ideas. He went on to tell me that within a meeting or two, someone else would inevitably come up with the same idea, which would then be implemented into their sales force.

            He watched over time as others advanced within the company because of the same ideas he had been too afraid to voice.

            I asked him why he let his fear hold him back. He obviously had the experience and knowledge to advance his career.

            He went on to tell me that he was afraid that his ideas were stupid, and everyone would look at him as if he were an idiot. I asked him if he thought the other people who expressed the same idea were idiots. He laughed and said, “No.”  I asked, “Then why would you think they would think that about yourself?” He replied, “I don’t know.”

            I asked him how he felt about his ideas. He told me he thought they were solid, productive ideas. “Then why do you think your colleagues would think your ideas are stupid, when time and time again you have seen otherwise?” He finally said to me, “I guess because when I ran these ideas by my wife, she thought they were stupid and told me that nobody would ever listen to me.”

I thought to myself in a sarcastic tone, “What an inspiring spouse” I looked him in the eyes and said firmly “Just because someone has an opinion of what they think will or will not work does not mean they’re right.” I could see a combination of realization and then sadness come over his face. I suggested he write down his idea for the next meeting and email it to whom would be interested in his suggestions. I said, “What’s the worst-case scenario?” It may not be the right timing for his suggestion; however, I cannot imagine anyone calling you stupid.

            The fear he felt was not a matter of what his colleagues thought, it was the fact he did not feel secure about himself based on his wife’s opinion. He was afraid to speak up during a meeting as he thought others would judge his ideas, the same way his wife judged him.

So next time FEAR comes into place, Forget Everything And RISE!!! 

Do not miss out on opportunities.

Do Not Allow Other’s Opinions to Become YOUR Reality!! – Coach Mikki

Desserts = Stressed

Eating Our Emotions

After a stressful day of work, my plan of action was to walk directly to the cabinet.  I knew this is where I would find all the answers I needed emotionally in the bag of chips that would be there waiting for me.

As I reached for the chips I actually stopped and stood there for almost five minutes fighting with myself. I said things like “I‘ll just have a few”; knowing that was a lie. I knew I would devour that bag of chips as if I was in an eating contest.

I had created a mental habit of binging when I was stressed.  I could feel it, the trigger and urge that would be a temporary fix to the way I felt. I was trying to feed my feelings with food which left me even more starved emotionally.

I finally focused and said “No, I am not going to eat these chips or anything else in this cabinet.  I’m not even hungry. I’m just going for the chips because that is what I have always done.”  It was like an “on” switch, which my mind had clicked on its own.

My own journey of dealing with emotional eating has led me to help others cope with emotions that have held them prisoner to a cheesecake. . Many times this is the reason we have the yo-yo effect with diets and exercise.

We need to be emotionally fit to be physically fit.  Using the tool FIT –  F – Feelings    I – Impact   T- Take Action,  will help us to overcome and change the urge to binge and break the eating habits.

F-  What am I feeling?   I – What will be the Impact on me if I eat instead of dealing with the emotion in a healthier way?  T – Take Action and replace the eating with a more productive and positive way to be healthy.

My passion for the past 20+ years has been to help others transform their lives. As  the creator of the Got Baggage? ™ Series.  My new book Got Baggage? –“Unpacking the Pounds”, offers insight and the tools to overcome emotional eating. – https://www.amazon.com/dp/0989447219

Please tune in every Monday and Thursday for our podcast!

Please visit – http://www.CoachMikkiandFriends.com

Stay Inspired My Friends!!

And Always Remember.. The Most Courageous Thing You Can Do… is BE YOURSELF!!!  Love, Mikki