Are You Living in a Lobster Trap?

Dear Circle of Friends,

I recently visited the harbor in Oceanside, CA.  Harbor towns are kind of my thing.  I love the ocean breeze, sailboats, and my personal favorite; the barking of the sealions sunning on the docks. Along my journey I discovered a wall of stacked lobster traps. I wandered over to them and looked inside. If you are not familiar with how they work let me enlighten you; food is placed inside the trap to attract lobsters. The entrance way is called “the head” which leads them into the “kitchen” where the bait bag is located. When the lobster tries to leave the trap, it follows a funnel shaped net and lands in the “bedroom” or “parlor” where they are inevitably stuck. However, there is always an escape hatch for smaller lobsters and fish to get out.

As I continued my walk, I thought…

Do you ever feel like you live in a lobster trap?

 What looks like an easy meal hanging there for the taking, only to find out that you have trapped yourself into a place where you feel you can never get out. 

That trapped/ stuck feeling of something is not working for you anymore. Maybe its your job, relationship, friends, or the everyday life with no excitement.

I know I have experienced this and said, “I feel trapped”!  Doing the same thing, in the same area, being too comfortable (such as the parlor where comfortable furniture is located) Maybe I AM living in a lobster trap!!!

When nothing exciting happens and you can’t seem to step forward and change things, there is an element of being trapped. So where is the escape hatch?  

Look up – It has the word CHOICE hanging over the top of it!

Change will very rarely occur if you are sitting around and waiting for someone or something to come into your life and suddenly change it for the better.   

YOU are the only one who can really make the difference. The Eagles said it best
“So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key”

Choosing to act and create something new can change the outlook in your life. The feeling of being more in control of your time, energy and patterns has a sense of freedom.

Once you have opened the hatch how do you get free from the trap emotionally and allow yourself to venture out and enjoy life once again?

 I know what you are about to say, but wait, “Mik I don’t have it all figured out!

So, what!  “neither do I”

However, what I do know is taking the first step is crucial. We do not need to know the end results. We just need to understand that the beginning is more important. Anything that we newly start is better than what we are already initially doing because we understand how that makes us feel.  

Start with the small things. What is one thing you have wanted to do? Try a new food, take a drive, buy new clothes, meet new friends, join a networking club, it doesn’t matter. Just make the conscious decision to try something different. – Make a list and pick one thing that you can kickstart outside the norm.

Get out of your own head!  Learn to relax, let things go and enjoy being you. Whatever happens, happens. You can’t control everything – Stay open minded and ask yourself why you may say “no” to something. Many times, we say “No” because it is our default answer without really an underlying reason not to try it.

Remember there isn’t failure in trying. If you don’t care for something, move on. That is the beauty of you independently controlling your own decisions.

You have a whole “Ocean” to discover. Stay away from the eels who will zap the life out of you and don’t swim with the sharks who will eat your dreams.

Rise to the surface, feel the sun on your face, and let the current take you to paradise!!


Coach Mikki