The first and most important thing about forgiving is that it’s not for the other person, it’s for you!! I’m sorry, but forgive and forget just doesn’t sit well with me. Forgive and “let fade” is more realistic. If you need to forgive, there is no way in hell you’re going to be forgetting – especially if it is a life-altering event. Forgiveness does not minimize or justify the wrong doing.
Giving forgiveness is for you, and it’s only yours to give.
Forgiveness is for giving ourselves the inner strength to know we have grown and evolved past the hurt, and that the event no longer has control over us. What we can achieve through forgiveness is to open ourselves up to other things in our lives.
When you unpack the resentment, revenge and obsessions, you make room for other positive events to enter your life. When you finally have peace within yourself, the anger and hurt have a way of fading, and you can replace those ill feelings with something more productive and stronger within yourself.
Resentment, revenge and obsession are nothing more than energy that is being stolen from you to empower another person or event.
“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”– Malachy McCourt
If you are constantly resenting someone or something, you have limited the amount of room available for happiness in your life. Resentment is an emotionally debilitating condition. If you are constantly focusing on the anger and hurt of the situation, then that is all you’re going to keep creating in your life. Resentment holds you prisoner to your past. The long term effects are nothing but destructive and will eventually affect everything else in your life.
If you are constantly obsessing over something or someone’s actions, all that energy you are creating by waiting, wishing and worrying is wasted. The only person that is affected by these feelings is you.
Why waste any amount of time on someone or something you don’t even want in your life?
You have to ask yourself, “How much time and energy do I want to use on this?” The only person holding you prisoner to this event is you.